The 5 Stages of Grief: George Weasley
by evanescoavis
Summary: My first attempt at fanfiction. I tried looking at George's first year after Fred's death in a kind of montage. Hope you like it, but please tell me where I can improve! Like I said... it's my first try!


The 5 Stages of Grief

_Denial_

**Day 1.**

It was as though the world had ended, which wasn't at all possible, so it simply mustn't have happened. Right? If Fred was… what everyone seemed to think he was, then why was I still there? How could it be, that we could have been parted with such finality, such unforgiving coldness? It couldn't be, could it? No. It couldn't. It simply couldn't. It was some kind of sick joke.

**Day 2.**

Everyone kept asking if I was ok. _Why on Earth shouldn't I be? He'll be back soon. Just you wait and see._ Nobody knew Fred better than me, we may as well have been the same person. So why did no one believe me when I said he'd be back soon!

_Anger_

**Day 5.**

_How dare he do this to me! I mean, Merlin's pants, I lose and ear and he's all "You have to be more careful, George. We actually might get really hurt one of these days. Are you sure you're feeling alright, George?" And then he goes and bloody dies! The Hypocrite! I thought I was his best friend and he just up and ditches. "Oh, sorry, George, wasn't paying attention properly, too busy teasing Percy. I thought you'd appreciate that I wasn't all OH I LOVE YOU PERCY NOW THAT YOU'RE BACK." Well FUCK mate it is not alright! What the bloody hell am I supposed to do now? I can't go back to the shop, not without you, you dickhead! I can't go to the apartment, your stuff is still there! I can't go home because everyone there is so bloody heartbroken and I can't remember… How did we used to manage it, Fred? We could always lighten the mood, no matter what! Maybe it was just you who could, and now you're fucking GONE you've just left me screwed and stranded! I don't even know who I am without you! I'm Fredandgeorge! I hate you!_

_Bargaining_

**Day 10.**

God, I don't know if you're up there, or if you care, or anything, but I will try anything. I know this sounds awful. I do know that. I just don't know what else to do.

Can't you take someone else? I reckon I could make do without anyone else, but did you have to take my best friend? There were hundreds of people there than night. Why him? He was on the right side! He was doing a good bloody thing! What kind of a reward is this?

Why Fred? My brother? My TWIN? I have 5 brothers. 4, now. Couldn't you have picked a different one?

That's the truth. I would do anything for my other half back.

**Day 11.**

Please? When I said anything, I meant bloody anything. I'll give up the store. I'll never use magic again. I'll stop talking. I'll never laugh or joke. I won't make fun of Ron. I won't taunt Mum. I'll go back to school and I'll get 10 OWLs!

I will do whatever it takes. There has to be some way to bring back the dead. I'll find it, I swear to you I will. I'll find that bloody stone, Harry must remember at least vaguely where he left it! He'll understand, I'm not just anyone, I'm a Weasley twin and you can't be just one twin. You need the other one. Nobody wants just me.

Either work with me here or I will prove to you that I can get him back myself.

_Depression_

**Day 14.**

I have spent my whole life with Fred. How does one simply stop being a twin? We did everything together. I never even considered what it might mean to not have another me. We used to lie awake at night, joking that everyone might have it wrong, we could have been mixed up as babies. Maybe I'm actually Fred, and you're George! I cling to that these days. Fred's not dead. George is. George is the one who's gone, and Fred is still here. It doesn't really matter though. Whatever way around it is, one of us is in a different place to the other, which is entirely, utterly, completely, ultimately wrong. So wrong.

**Day 98.**

We shared a bedroom at home, a dorm at school. We had the same timetables at school, and did the same activities away from the classroom. When do you suggest I was supposed to learn how to talk to anyone else without you by my side? I have never once had a complete thought entirely my own, because you always finished it for me. I only know half of any joke, because I never bothered to learn your half. When I was asked a question that I didn't know the answer to, you'd know it, and vice versa, so you'd answer for me and the teacher wouldn't question it, they'd just assume they'd gotten our names wrong, yet again. I was the one that wasn't Fred, and you were the one that wasn't George. Even when I lost my ear, people would get confused. Was it Fred or George who lost their ear? And then a few times I stuck the ear from one of our extendables on, and then nobody could tell again.

**Day 253.**

I've been spending a lot of time at the bar recently. Muggle one. Nobody knows me as one of the Weasley twins there. Plus, I find their drinks are stronger. I told the waitress my name was Blake. We never met anyone called Blake. She knows me now, but she doesn't call me Blake. She calls me "love", same as she calls all her other customers. I guess she can't remember everyone's name, so everyone gets one the same. I love it, I don't even have a name, I don't have to be anyone. I can just hide and drink and work so hard at forgetting that I just fall asleep.

**Day 260.**

A few nights ago, I'd had a few too many drinks at that muggle pub and I humiliatingly spilled my guts to the waitress who calls me "love". I told her I'm not Blake, I'm George, Fred Weasley's twin brother, but that you'd died. I told her all about us, but not that we're wizards. It didn't seem relevant, it didn't even come up. When I was done, I wasn't even crying. I'd run out of tears, I reckon. She just leaned over the bar and kissed me. Not just a normal peck on the lips either, mind you, it was a full-on snog. Quite a good one, actually. "You know what you need, love? You need to start making some new memories of things you've never done before, that you won't ever associate with him. So meet me tomorrow at 6.30am. I'll be half asleep, so you'll need to wake me up a bit, I'm sure you'll find a way. You ever done that before, love?" she said. I told her I hadn't. So I've started doing lots of things I've never done before, it's pretty easy doing them with her, because she names some muggle thing and I haven't done it, of course.

Maybe soon I'll go visit Mum again. I've been avoiding her. She looks too much like you.

_Acceptance_

**Day 365.**

It just occurred to me… you're making new memories too, all on your own, without me. So I still am doing something with you, just not actually physically with you.

Don't worry, mate. I'll catch up one day. It won't be forever right? Just for now. See you later.


End file.
